


Heart of Iron, Soul of Fire

by Akiko_Natsuko



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Human Experimentation, Hurt/Comfort, Memories, Multi, Muteness, Nightmares, Self-Hatred, Survivor Guilt, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-09-25 15:12:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17123723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: Natsu was too late stop Erza being absorbed into the etherion, and he loses himself in the guilt for failing to save her, willing to risk everything if it would just bring her back.





	1. Prologue

_“We feel the exact same way. Never do anything like this again…Never again!”_ \- Natsu

****

    Natsu groaned as he slowly drifted back to consciousness, his body immediately beginning to clamour for his attention as every single injury he’d received came to life in a sickening flash of fire. However, before he could start to take an inventory of his body, and whatever damaged he had taken while he was unconscious, he became aware of the violent shaking beneath hi,. Fighting the almost instantaneous nausea that welled up at the motion, and cursing his weak stomach, he somehow found the strength to raise his head. His eyes immediately widening in alarm as he realised that not only was he still in that thrice-damned Tower of Heaven, but that the thing was in the process of coming down around his ears. Suddenly his earlier attempts at destroying didn’t seem like such a brilliant idea, and he flinched as part of the ceiling crashed down a little to close for comfort.

   Biting his lip against the pain and trying not to make a noise, not sure if there were still enemies in the area, he attempted to lift himself up with shaking arms, nearly falling flat on his face as they threatened to collapse. With sheer stubbornness, he locked his elbows so that he remained partially raised, unsure if he could actually make it all the way to his feet at this point. He was beginning to topple, ready to fall back and admit defeat, when a soft gasp of pain that wasn’t his own caught his attention, and he glanced up only to feel his heart threatening to stop as his gaze fell on Erza.

“Erza…”He whispered with a sense of dawning horror as his gaze moved over her to where her arms were gradually being sucked into the lacrima behind her. A lacrima that was deforming as the tower rocked around them, Erza crying out again, voice sharp with pain as she dragged inch by inch into the magical container right in front of his very eyes.

“Natsu…” Despite how quiet his voice had been, and even with the tower rumbling and groaning around them, Erza had managed to hear his whisper, and she twisted to look at him. He immediately wished that she hadn’t frozen in place by the grim determination in her eyes, and the guilt twisting her face into an anguished mask. It was an expression that didn’t belong on her face, just as the tears earlier hadn’t suited her, and he couldn’t keep the waver out of his voice as he finally moved again, trying to push himself upright.

 “W-what are you doing Erza?” He demanded, even though deep down a part of him had already connected the dots, knowing what she was attempting to do. However, he was desperately trying to ignore that. Trying to deny what she was doing,  because there was no way she could be doing something so reckless and idiotic. Was there?  “Your body’s going into the lacrima….” The lacrima was still shifting, loosing more and more of its shape by the minute and pulling Erza further and further into its depths, and he swallowed when there was no immediate denial. Realising with a thrill of terror that she was actually leaning into it, rather than fighting the consuming pull, deliberately allowing it to consume her. “Erza?!”

 “This is the only way to stop the Etherion,” Erza murmured, not looking at him properly, even though she managed to sound as calm as she did when they were discussing the simplest of jobs. Even when fresh pain flickered across her face whenever the lacrima contracted, her voice and expression didn’t shift, not even when she lifted her head to meet his panicked gaze.

“Stop the Etherion…?” He repeated, confused, wondering just how much he’d missed while unconscious, cursing himself for not holding on and getting them both out of there straight away.

“Yes. Look around us.” Erza gestured with her free hand, and reluctant to look away from her even for a second Natsu followed her gesture, swallowing as he realised that deformation was worse than he had thought. The walls of the chamber bulging in numerous places, while cracks were spreading steadily through the more solid parts of the tower, another loud rumble echoing around them as more and more of the ceiling crumbled above them. "The etherion is out of control and will destroy the tower in an enormous explosion any minute now!”  Erza’s voice was beginning to rise now, some of her calmness disappearing as another large chunk of the ceiling came away, crashing down behind them and sending shards and dust in their direction. Her voice cracking as she fought to stifle the pained noises that she could no longer hold back, as she continued to be drawn further inside. “But if I can merge with the Etherion and restrain it…!”

   _Merge?_ It took a moment for what she was proposing to register, his throbbing body and hazy mind making it hard to focus, and he paled when it finally hit home. Especially, when he saw the glint in her eyes. The determination that she was famed for shining through. _She’s serious…_ She was going to stand there and let it consume her, and for what…?

“Are you insane?!” The question slipped out before he could stop it, horror and panic twisting his expression, and lending him the strength to finally force his battered to its feet, although his legs threatened to immediately give way again. “If you do that, you’ll…!” He couldn’t even bring himself to vocalise the thought as he staggered forward, nearly biting through his lip to hold back the pain. Determined to reach Erza and yank her free before she could continue with this nonsense. _Before she can get herself killed_. Because that was how this would end, and she had talked about it so calmly, so rationally, and his eyes burned fiercely. As though he ’d ever let her sacrifice herself to save them, especially after everything she had just been through, the pain and hurt that they should have been able to shield her from.

    Unfortunately, his determination wasn’t any match for the injuries and exhaustion he was suffering, and he had barely managed to stumble more than a few steps before his knees buckled, sending him crashing to the ground, and forcing a pained shout past his lips. However, he quickly shoved through it, forgetting about it entirely when Erza screamed this time, and he lifted his head, realising with growing terror that both her arms were now trapped inside the lacrima. “Erza!”

“Don’t worry about a thing. I will stop it!” She panted through gritted teeth, clearly struggling to maintain her calmness now that the pain was visibly increasing, but there was no wavering in her determination much to his dismay.

 “Stop!” Each gasp of pain and the cries that she was no longer able to fully hold back was torture for the Dragon-Slayer, and he could feel his eyes starting to burn as he desperately dragged himself towards her. He lacked the strength to rise again, but he was determined to reach her, crawling forward not caring how pathetic he might look. “Stop! Erza!” He was pleading now, desperation in his voice, as more and more of his friend disappeared into the lacrima, collapsing in an exhausted heap just short of her and raising frantic eyes to meet her gaze.

“Natsu… I can’t live without Fairy Tail, I can’t even imagine a world without my friends.” She was smiling now as she spoke, even as tears of pain glistened in her eyes, reaching out to cup his face with surprising gentleness and for some reason that made everything that much worse _. How? How could she smile so happily when she was throwing her life away?_ He couldn’t understand. No, he didn’t want to understand. The burning in his eyes developing into proper tears now as he realised that she wasn’t going to back down from this crazy idea, that she had accepted what was going to happen and was sticking to it. “That’s how important all of you are to me.” _That’s how important you are to me_ , _Natsu_ , she added privately as she stared resolutely into his eyes. She hated the pain and fear she could see swimming in the olive depths, and the fact that this time she had been the one to put those emotions there. Of all of them, he was the one she least wanted to hurt and seeing his tears she knew that she had failed in that…and that she was making it worse with each inch of her body that sank into the lacrima.

“Erza,” Natsu could barely speak now, his throat closing around the sobs threatening to well up. Couldn’t she see that everything she said applied to him and the rest of their friends? Their family? Did she really think for a moment that any of them could be happy again if she gave herself up for them? Desperately he fought to find the words to tell her just that, to tell her that she was the heart of Fairy Tail and that there could be no Fairy Tail without her, his gaze falling as he frantically searched for the words that might stop her.

“If I can save you all, I won’t hesitate for even a moment.” The confidence and air of finality in her voice forced him to look up once more, an icy shard of terror piercing him when he saw that all that remained free of the lacrima at this stage was her face. Her smile grew wider as she met his gaze with shining eyes as she slowly spread her arms wide in a gesture of offering, the lacrima casting an eerie blue cast over her. “I will gladly give up this body!” She shouted the last bit a second before the rest of her face was drawn inside the lacrima, a faint shimmer moving across the surface as it sealed itself against any further intrusion and that finally gave the Dragon-Slayer the strength to move again. Albeit more unsteadily before as he lunged forwards.

“Erza! Come out, Erza!” Natsu pleaded desperately as he slammed his fists against the surface of the lacrima over and over, oblivious to the pain he was inflicting on himself as tears streamed unchecked from his eyes. He could see her floating away from him, a serene smile on her face as she gazed at him for a long moment before her eyes drifted shut and he felt something important inside of him break at that moment.

“ERZA!” He howled throwing himself against the lacrima in sheer desperation, unaware of the fresh blood forming on his hands from his frantic attempts to break the vessel. “Erza!” He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think as he threw himself again and again against the unyielding barrier keeping him from her. He was blind to the power building around him, or the dazzling light filling the air. His entire being was focused on reaching her, on saving her, even as the Etherion finally exploded around him.

****

_Natsu, I leave the others in your hands… I’ll always be right there with all of you…_


	2. Chapter 1

     Gray groaned as consciousness came slowly creeping back to him, blinking slowly as he tried to take stock of his body. Everything ached, especially his back, but as he cautiously began to shift it didn’t feel as though anything was broken…bruised as hell, but not broken. Relieved he cautiously moved himself up into a sitting position, fighting back nausea as the world seemed to swim around him for a moment. While pain flared throughout his back, spreading out to the rest of his body even as he took several deep breaths, trying to steady the world and hold back the pain.

“What the hell happened?” He mumbled, glancing around as the world began to settle down, becoming aware of the shifting ground beneath him, his searching fingers finding sand a moment later and his eyes widened as he realised he was on the beach.  Lifting his head, relieved when the world remained a little more steady this time, he glanced around, eyes narrowing as he took in the small crater that he was sat in. Beyond that there was a trail gouged through the sand, leading from him down to the water’s edge, and as he followed it with his eyes, realisation struck. The sight of the waves lapping at the beach, bringing the memories rushing back and he swallowed thickly as he remembered the blast of light on the horizon. The Tower of Heaven exploding, sending them all spinning away as the sea had come to life around them, and…

_Erza. Natsu…where are you? What happened?_

 The worry and fear that came with those memories were enough to get him to move, jolting him back to his feet despite the pain that the abrupt movement caused him. As he staggered back to his feet, he glanced around wild-eyed as he realised that he hadn’t been alone when he’d been caught up in the blast wave from the explosion. While Juvia’s water bubble had managed to protect them from the worst of the blast, it hadn’t been enough to stop them from being sent flying across the ocean, his stomach rolling at the memory and for a moment he felt that he understood just how Natsu felt when he was faced with transport. Shaking his head, the small flicker of humour short-lived, he resumed scrambling out of the crater. Clearly, the bubble must’ve broken at some point for him to have ended up here and on his own, and he just hoped that no one had been too seriously injured, ignoring the way his back twinged as he stood to his full height at the edge of the crater.

 “GRAY!” He whirled, distracted from his swirling worried thoughts by the relieved shout, and it took him a moment to spot the source. A sigh of relief escaping as he spotted Happy soaring towards him from further down the beach, Lucy suspended beneath him and waving frantically despite the Exceed’s complaints.

 “Happy! Lucy!” He called, beginning to stumble towards them, relief and pain making him clumsy and more than once he nearly ended up sprawled in the sand. “Are you both okay?” He asked once they were closed enough to hear him clearly, his eyes darting over them as Happy closed the last of the distance between them, before depositing the Celestial Mage on the sand next to him and sinking down beside them. Happy was soaked and covered with sand, and he looked as though he would be bruised come morning, but otherwise, he was in one piece. Lucy hadn’t been so lucky he realised, taking in the bloody gash above her eyebrow with a darkening expression. Noticing where his attention had gone, she reached up to swipe at the cut, grimacing as her fingers came away bloody before she sighed and shook her head. Pushing the pain aside for a moment, as she focused on him, remembering that they had much bigger concerns at the moment.

“I’ll live,” she murmured, and there was an edge to her voice that told Gray that she didn’t want him to fuss over her at the moment, although he made a note to get her wound checked out as soon as possible. “Have you see the others?” She asked changing the topic, and he could see the fear in her eyes as she glanced out towards the sea, and then out along the beach, and he knew that as much as she was worrying about Juvia and Sho and the others, that her thoughts like his were currently focused on their missing teammates.

    Gray hesitated, wanting to reassure her, but he knew better than to lie to her, and he sighed and shook his head.  “Not yet,” he admitted, and her face immediately fell, while Happy looked close to tears as he reached out with a trembling poor to grasp the Celestial Mage’s leg. Gray was ready to join them, his worry, becoming an aching, gnawing sensation in his chest, but he knew that they couldn’t give up. “Come on, we need to get moving.” _We need to find them,_ he thought but didn’t say, not wanting to admit that there was a chance that they might not. However, he knew that if they didn’t move and get their acts together, then they were all going to fall apart, and they couldn’t risk that… not when Erza and Natsu were somewhere out there waiting for them.

   Usually, he wouldn’t have been too worried about Erza and Natsu even though they didn’t know what had happened, because he knew full well that they were both more than capable of taking of themselves and each other. However, this situation was far from normal, and he couldn’t prevent the uneasy feeling that was creeping into his heart the more minutes trickled by without any sign of them. Erza’s armoured heart had already been compromised, if not outright destroyed by these events, and he wasn’t worried that she would be able to fight to her normal level with that vulnerability so new and raw. While, Natsu had been going all out in a way that the Ice Mage had never seen from him before, and he feared what could've happened to push the Dragon-slayer to such extremes, knowing that even Natsu wasn’t that destructive without reason.

“I can still fly for a little while longer,” Happy finally spoke up, trying to inject strength and confidence into his voice, despite the obvious exhaustion and pain clouding his expression, and the way he swallowed as he glanced out to see. “I can search the water,” he offered, sounding a little steadier, knowing that right now they had no way of knowing there others had ended up and no other way to search the sea until they managed to find Juvia. Although his heart went cold at the thought of anyone having been washed out to sea.

   Gray bit his lip, not liking the idea of them splitting up again. That was how they had got into this mess anyway, although there hadn’t been a choice earlier, and he sighed as he glanced out across the waves lapping at the beach. _And we don’t have a choice now,_ he realised, turning back to the Exceed and nodding. “All right but make sure that you come back before you exhaust yourself completely,” he warned, knowing that Happy would willingly push himself too far if he thought that it would help the others, especially if Natsu is involved. They couldn’t afford to have anyone else in trouble right now, and his eyes narrowed when Happy hesitated before nodding.

 “Aye Sir,” Happy muttered, but there was a mutinous look in his eyes, and he refused to meet Gray’s gaze as he sprang into the air once more. Lucy and Gray sharing a worried look behind his back, knowing that he hadn’t taken the warning to heart, and they would need to keep an eye on him.

“I think that we should split up too,” Lucy suggested once Happy was out of range, turning to look at Gray, in time to catch his grimace at the suggestion. “I’m not happy about it either, but it’ll increase our chances of finding them and right now we need all the help we can get.” _Before it’s too late,_ they both knew what she hadn’t said. The fact that Natsu and Erza hadn’t turned up yet only making it worse, as uneasiness teetered on the edge of full-blown panic and Gray sighed, knowing that she was right and they were going to need to take the risk.

 “Are you sure?” Gray asked, knowing that she was right, but still having to ask as he saw a similar hesitation in her gaze. She was never a fan of splitting up on jobs, let alone in a situation like this…but what choice did they have?

“I’m sure.”

    There was nothing that he could say to that, not in the face of such resolve. Instead, he reached out and patted her on the shoulder. “All right, send up a signal if you find them, or you run into any trouble, and be careful.” They had no idea if there was still enemies in the area, and he doubted that any of them were in the state for another protracted fight. His reluctance to split up was building, and he abruptly turned away and walked off before he could end up suggesting that they stick together even though they needed to find the others as quickly as possible.

 “Be careful!” Lucy called after him, and he raised a hand in acknowledgement, relieved that she hadn’t tried to call him back guessing that she had cottoned onto the reasons behind his abrupt departure, and he straightened, not letting himself turn back as he struck out along the beach.

_Natsu. Erza. Where the hell are you?_

    Behind him, Lucy smiled, just a strained quirk of her lips as she realised that was the only reaction that she was going to get at the moment,  before turning away and heading in the opposite direction. She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to stave off the chill settling into her sodden clothing, and refusing to let herself be distracted as she searched, eyes darting back and forth over the seemingly abandoned beach.

_Where are you?_

     She just hoped that they would find them alive, if not well, and sooner rather than later, as she felt the concern building in her chest as she glanced out to sea, spotting Happy’s small form moving back and forth above the faves. _Please…_ She wanted nothing more to have everyone back together, to patch up whatever wounds they had, and get them as far away from here as possible. She wanted to go home with all of her friends and try and forget that the last couple of days had happened. She wanted to see Erza safe and smiling again. She wanted to see the less terrifying side of Natsu again. She wanted to spend time with her spirits, although she knew that this hadn’t been what Loke had hoped for when he had given them the tickets, and she wasn’t sure if she should tell him, or how the hell she was going to explain it to him.

****

     Happy swooped towards the water, so close that he could feel the foam tickling his paws, but the sensation that had bought a smile to his face before all this had happened, just served to remind him of where he was and what he was doing. The sea below him was calm now, the gentle breeze coaxing small waves to life, and he glared at it, wondering how it could seem so at ease when it felt to him as though the rest of the world was in turmoil. _I need to find them._ His gaze, as he pushed himself back into the air, was more desperate than ever as he searched the surface of the water, and as much as he hated it, he knew that he was focusing on Natsu…and Erza more than the others who had been in the bubble with them, even though he knew it was just as important to find them.

    He had been terrified when they’d been drifting on the sea, unable to do anything as they’d watched the Tower of Heaven rocking and shaking above them, knowing instinctively that it was his partner who was on the rampage. Natsu was always overly destructive, but that level…. That only ever happened when there was no other choice, and things had gone to hell. It was that, along with the fact that the Dragon-slayer had yet to appear scared him more than anything, and he couldn’t shake the feeling that something had gone horribly wrong and he hadn’t been there to help.

“Natsu!” He shouted as he tried to shove aside the fears so that he could focus on the search, especially as he could feel his magic beginning to flicker around the edges, and he knew that he wouldn’t be able to remain aloft for much longer. Part of him knew that he should head inland like Gray had asked, but he couldn’t bring himself to admit defeat just yet, not before he found something, even if it was just a tiny clue. And with the Ice mage’s warning running in the back of his mind, he twisted, heading further out to sea and praying that he would find something soon.

**

   Lucy was shivering more than ever, and more than once she had stumbled as she trudged along the beach, the tattered remnants of her clothing doing nothing to keep her warm at this point. However, beyond rubbing her arms there was little she could do about it right now, and it was the least of her worries as she still hadn’t found any sign of the others. She had managed to cover a fair distance, despite the cold and exhaustion slowing her down, and her voice was getting hoarser and hoarser with each shout, as she called out to them again.

 “Natsu! Erza!! Everyone!” It seemed to her as though her voice was being swallowed in the sound of the waves crashing against the sand, and her shoulders slumped in defeat as she turned, trying to see if she could spy Gray. Her feeling of isolation only growing as she realised that he was no longer in sight, leaving her feeling as though she was the only person in the world right now, and she had to fight the temptation to summon one of her Spirits just to have company, knowing that she might need that magic later. With no other choice, she sighed, continuing along the beach, stumbling more than she had a few minutes ago and struggling to hold back the fear rising in her heart.

*

“LUCY!” Her head shot up at the shout, the sound breaking through the increasingly despairing thoughts that had been consuming her a few minutes later, and her eyes went wide as she spotted movement further up the beach. It took a moment for her thoughts to catch up with her, and she tried to quell her disappointment when she realised that it was Erza’s friends that were rushing towards her. Burying it beneath concern as she realised that Sho was supported between the other two, his head hanging to the point where it was practically resting against his chest. Shaking off her disappointment, and hiding the traitorous part of her that wished that it was Natsu and Erza rushing towards her, she ran forward to meet them.

“Are you okay? What happened?” She demanded, as soon as she was close enough to ask without shouting, her eyes rapidly examining the trio, noting the array of cuts and bruises they were all sporting and guessing they’d had a bad landing after the bubble had burst on them.

“We’re okay, it was just a bumpy landing. But Sho’s hurt,” Millianna answered with a frantic mewl in her voice as she peered at the tanned boy with obvious concern. Sho seemed to stir at that, lifting his head with difficulty and trying to shoot her an encouraging look although it came out as little more than a grimace.

“I’m okay.”

“Sit him down so I can take a look at him,” Lucy ordered, the lie in his voice evident even if she hadn’t caught the grimace. There was a voice yelling in the back of her mind, scolding her for taking time out of the search…the same voice that whispered cruelly that Natsu and Erza were probably in a worse state right now, but she couldn’t ignore the fact that he was injured, if only because she knew that Erza would care about it. “Have you seen anyone else?” She asked, voice softer this time as she helped them guide Sho down onto the sand, before crouching down in front of him, her eyes darkening as she took note of his laboured breathing.

“Juvia was with us,” Wally was the one to reply as Sho listed to the side, whatever strength he’d found to try and reassure his friends disappearing now, and Lucy faltered, glancing at him and closing her eyes in relief. She had been worried about the Water Mage, especially after everything that she had done to help them, and still able to feel the lingering tingle of their unison raid beneath her fingertips. “However, she was worried about Gray, and she went to search the water for the rest of you after we found no traces on the beach.”

“Gray is fine,” Lucy was quick to reassure them as she realised they were worried too. “We were together, but we split up to try and find you faster,” she explained even as she carefully reached out to run a hand lightly down Sho’s side, wincing sympathetically when he flinched and cried out as she brushed against his ribs. “Sorry, I…”

“What about Erza?” Sho asked breathlessly, cutting her off as he glanced up with worried eyes, and as much as she wanted to reassure him, she couldn’t bring herself to lie. Instead, she shrugged, hoping that her fear wasn’t showing on her face, doubtful of her success as his face fell and the other two shifted uneasily beside her. Unable to reassure them, she focused on what she could do, reaching out to carefully remove his shirt, knowing they needed to do something for his ribs before they tried to move him more, even as her thoughts returned to Natsu and Erza. They were the only ones unaccounted for now, and she couldn’t fight the icy terror that was beginning to dig its claws into her with that realisation.

_Where are you?_

****

    Gray was starting to wonder if he had chosen the wrong direction to search in as it dawned on him just how far he had walked without finding a single sign of the others, cursing at the thought that he might have been wasting precious minutes all this time. He faltered for a moment, glancing out to sea where he could just make out the distant shape of Happy swooping down to the water before rising up, and then back along the beach, although there was no sign of Lucy…or anyone else for that matter. _Where are they?_ Turning back in the direction he had been heading, he realised that the next cove was just in sight now, and he decided to keep going to that point before turning back, just to make sure. Trying to ignore the small part of him that was wondering if it was already too late, he plodded on, beginning to slip and slide as weariness began to eat at him.

     It was a relief to finally reach the rocks that stretched out into the waves, separating the main beach from the next cove, and despite his previous resolve, he found himself pressing forward. Clambering awkwardly over the rocks, wincing when more than once he caught his bare hands and feet on a sharp edge, although the pain was quickly forgotten. He was just moving between rocks when something wrapped itself around his feet, tripping him up as he hadn’t been expecting it, and he fell forwards with a startled shout, bloodying his hands as he caught himself before he could smash his face into the rock. Muttering and cursing under his breath, he took a deep breath to calm himself before twisting around to see what had sent him flying, expecting to find a frond of seaweed or something. Instead, he felt his eyes widening as he took in the familiar white scarf that had wrapped itself around him, and there was a violent tremor in his hands as he reached down to untangle himself. Fingers lingering on the material as he freed himself and brought it up to rest against his chest, taking another deep breath to swallow back his fear at finding the scarf without its owner, before shaking his head.

_Natsu has to be nearby._

     Hissing from the fresh cuts on his hands, he pushed himself back to his feet and looked around, frantically scanning the rocks, the sand and the sea. He knew that it was possible that the scarf could have been torn away from Natsu, but he was praying that wasn’t the case because he wasn’t sure what they were going to do if that had happened.

“NATSU!” He bellowed, even though deep down he knew that Natsu would have already called out if he was able to do so because the Dragon-slayer would have heard him coming or caught his scent. He refused to let himself dwell on all the possible reasons why Natsu wouldn’t be able to shout out to him, although it didn’t stop him from twisting his fingers into the scarf, clinging to the single, tenuous link that he had right now as he shakily made his way further into the rocks.

   He had nearly reached the sand in the next cove when he stumbled again, and his heart leapt into his throat, instinctively knowing what he had fallen over even before he slowly turned around to look. The sight that greeted him had his breath catching, even as his heart seemed to sink and for a moment he couldn’t move, couldn’t think… _Natsu._

“N-Natsu.” His voice when he finally got it to work, cracked and broke as he stared at the familiar figure sprawled against the rocks, eyes slowly passing over cuts and bruises, seeing the damage but not really taking it in. “Natsu…” He repeated, swallowing, and then he was moving, stumbling as he ran forward and fell heavily to his knees next to the Dragon-slayer, only to falter as he realised that he didn’t know what to do. His hands hovering helplessly over Natsu’s body as he got a full look at his injuries, nausea rising as he realised that this was far more than he could deal with himself. “Natsu!” He called, louder this time as he finally gathered the courage to reach out and touch the Dragon-slayer, grasping his shoulder as firmly as he dared and shaking him gently in an attempt to rouse him. However, there wasn’t even a flicker of reaction in the still features, even though Gray knew that gentle movement would’ve hurt like hell.

_Natsu, what the hell happened to you?_

    He wasn’t sure that he wanted to know the answer. It scared him to see Natsu like this, because he knew that the Dragon-slayer would’ve done everything in his power to protect Erza, especially with her defences torn to shreds by who their enemy was. _So, if he’s like this…_ He refused to finish that thought, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to focus if he did. Instead, he took a deep breath to steady himself, before forcing himself to check the other’s pulse and breathing, relieved to note that they were steady beneath his trembling fingers if somewhat weak.

    It wasn’t much, but it gave him a little bit of encouragement, and drawing confidence from that he turned his attention to Natsu’s hands. Hissing sympathetically as he took in the state of Natsu’s hands, the skin on the fingers torn and bloodied, and a couple of fingers twisted unnaturally, and he wondered who or what Natsu had been hitting to cause such damage. He ghosted his fingers over the torn flesh, fearful of actually touching it and causing his friend further pain. Instead, he turned his attention to Natsu’s other injuries, gently pulling aside the tattered remnants of the vest to get a better view. Although he promptly wished he hadn’t, swallowing thickly as he took in the array of cuts and bruises that had been hidden from view, guessing, with a sinking feeling that there was worse damage hidden beneath.

“Natsu…” His voice caught, as his fingers brushed against a particularly dark bruise. _This is bad._ “Natsu, can you hear me? You need to wake up.” He called, not making any effort to hide the desperation in his voice as he watched for any hint of a reaction, more unnerved than he wanted to admit, by how injured Natsu was. It wasn’t so much the injuries, after all, he had seen Natsu hurt before, but rather the stillness. He didn’t think he’d ever seen the other teen look so lifeless, and he wondered just what the hell had happened inside the tower to lead to all this, wishing that he had fought harder to get back inside, even if he had ended up in the same state.

   However, thinking like that would have to come later, because it wouldn’t help them now and forcing himself back to the present he lifted his arm, sending an ice flare up into the sky to tell Lucy that he had found something. The cold light was startlingly bright against the night sky, and he prayed that he hadn’t also alerted any lingering enemies, eyes dark, as he vowed they would have to go through him to get near Natsu. Not wanting to focus on that, he glanced back along the beach, hoping that Lucy had managed to find the others, because there was no way he could continue searching now, not with Natsu in this state, and he was too worried about the possibility of further internal injuries to risk moving the fire mage without assistance.

    _Lucy, you need to hurry._ He thought, praying that she wouldn’t take too long as he settled back down next to Natsu, frowning as he noticed a small shiver working its way through the unconscious Dragon-slayer. It was followed by another, and then another and another, and he felt fresh fear rising as he realised that he had never seen Natsu shiver before. He didn’t feel the cold, and the fact that he was feeling it now was a bad sign, and a shiver that had nothing to do with the cold crept up his spine as he watched Natsu shivering. _This is really bad._

“Damn it.” There was nothing he could do. The usual solution of sharing body heat would be useless in this situation because his magic meant that his body was always substantially cooler than anyone else’s. While he had long since lost track of his shirt and coat in the battle, so he couldn’t even use them, and Natsu’s clothes were in tatters, fit for nothing but the bin. Cursing, he glanced around, frantically searching for inspiration, and he growled as he remembered the scarf that he had abandoned in the sand when he’d found Natsu. It took him a moment to locate it, and he quickly draped it over Natsu’s chest. It wasn’t going to be enough, but at least it might offer Natsu some comfort until help came, and that was all he could really hope for at the moment.

****

    It was Wally who spotted the flare first, as he had been keeping watch while Lucy tended to Sho and he patted her on the shoulder before pointing at the sky. “Look!” The Celestial mage immediately twisted to follow the gesture, hope rising, and her eyes widened as she took in the icy light filling the sky in the distance. She blinked, finally recalling his instructions about sending up a flare if they found something…or they ran into trouble, and she swallowed, praying that it was the former.

“Gray’s found someone,” she exclaimed after a moment, not wanting to worry the others about the possibility of it being the other option. Feeling guilty for having forgotten to send up a flare of her own when she’d first found the trio of friends. She clung to the spark of hope, unable to bear the thought of Gray having walked into trouble or the idea of fighting more when they still hadn’t found everyone.

  _Please, let him have found them._

 “Let’s go, it might be Erza,” Sho said weakly, gently pushing Lucy away as she automatically tried to stop him from moving, although she wanted nothing more than to rush towards the flare. He forced himself to his feet, swaying from side to side, and he would have fallen if Millianna had swiftly darted forwards to wrap an arm around him, her face a mix of hope and worry. “I can walk on my own,” he protested as he felt Wally moving to his other side, but the pair sent him quelling looks, and he quickly subsided. Lucy wanted to protest knowing that really, he needed to rest. _No, what he needs is a healer, but that will have to wait._ However, as she met his, gaze and saw his expression mirrored on the other two’s faces, she realised that they were just as worried for her missing friends as she was and her protests died unspoken.

“All right but stay close to me.” She instructed, realising that they weren’t going to stay behind, even if she warned them that it might be a trap. All three of them nodded without arguing, and she sighed, her hand dropping down to her keys as she began to lead them back down the beach.

_Please, let Gray be okay…_

***

 


	3. Chapter 2

 

    Happy had just been turning back towards land, reluctant to abandon the search, but knowing that if he waited much longer, then he was going to end up in the waves, knowing that they couldn’t afford to have someone else in need of rescue. He was flying lower now, magic flickering more wildly around the edges when he came up short as he caught the light of the fireworks from the beach. _Natsu…_ As much as he wanted to hope that it was his partner who had been found, he couldn’t shake the fear that the Dragon-slayer was still out here and he faltered, unable to resist scanning the sea beneath him.

     That was a mistake he realised a second later, his exhaustion catching up with him, and he felt his magic flicker and then just give out. Eyes widening with alarm as his wings disappeared immediately, sending him plunging towards the water with a panicked shout for help, even though he knew that the others were too far away to hear, let alone help him. There was no stopping his fall, his magic unable to respond even in his desperation, and he closed his eyes, trying to brace himself for impact, and he was just about to hit the water when warm arms wrapped around him, arresting his fall.

    It took him a moment to realise that he had been saved, and with a relieved mew he twisted his head to look up at his rescuer, only to blink in surprise as he found that Juvia was the one holding him. However, she wasn’t paying attention to him, her gaze fixated on something further out to see, and unnerved by the way the colour had vanished from her face, and the shock in her eyes he found himself turning to see what she was looking at. Only to find his own eyes widening in horror, his tail wrapping around Juvia’s wrist, as he struggled to find his voice.

“Erza…?”

    Ahead of them and bobbing as though it had just risen from the waves, was a lacrima that was nearly triple the size of the bubble that Juvia had created to protect them when they had been fleeing from the tower. It glittered brightly beneath the night sky, lit from within by some unknown source, and from what they could see the inside seemed to be fluid, and in a state of constant flux. However, what had really caught their attention was the heart-breakingly familiar figure floating within the depths of the lacrima, her crimson hair caught in the flowering Etherion until it had spread around his head like a halo.

    From their current position it was impossible to tell if Erza was breathing or not, and as they watched her seemingly drifting aimlessly inside the lacrima, they feared the worst. _Erza, what the hell happened to you?_

“What is this?” Happy was the first to find his voice, although it was little more than a whisper, as though he was afraid to break the silence that had settled over them. Juvia had moved them closer, and now he reached out with a trembling paw, only to snatch it back just before he could touch the surface of the lacrima, terrified that if he broke or disturbed it that it might cause further damage to Erza.

“It’s the last bit of the tower,” Juvia breathed, horrified as she stared at the still figure floating in the depths of the trapped magic, and slowly she reached forwards, careful to keep Happy above the surface as she gingerly pressed her hand against the surface of the lacrima. A sharp pain lanced across her palm, and she yanked her hand back with a hiss of pain, which was completely forgotten as she watched a shimmering wave of energy passing through the Etherion. It formed a faint glow around Erza for a brief moment, illuminating her, and making her seem as though she might fade at any moment, before the light flared again and then disappeared. “I don’t want to try breaking it, because I might make things worse,” she said after a moment as she met Happy’s gaze, before turning her attention to her hand, and wincing as she realised that it looked almost burnt from the contact with the lacrima.

“We need to find the others,” Happy said. “They need to know about this…” _And I need to know if they’ve found Natsu._ It had been a concern before, but after seeing Erza in this condition, he knew that it didn’t bode well for his partner’s condition, and he could only hope that the others had managed to find Natsu already. Juvia hesitated for a moment, glancing at the lacrima, reluctant to leave it behind to be washed out to sea before she realised that now the waters had settled around it, it was unmoving. That was one small relief, but it paled in the face of everything else because she knew that this news was going to hit the others hard, especially for her beloved Gray who had been oscillating between concern and fear for Erza ever since the red-head had first been taken from the resort. And somehow she had a feeling that this was worse than any of them could’ve imagined.

“Let’s go,” she murmured, making sure that she had a firm grip on the exhausted cat as she set off towards the shore, the water moving aside to let them through. Although it was harder than she thought to leave Erza behind, even though she knew that there was nothing that the two of them could do and that they needed to find the others. Still, it was hard, especially with Happy sniffling in her arms, torn between fear at what state his partner might be in, and terror that there might be nothing they could do to help Erza.

****

     It seemed like forever before Lucy finally spied the dark outline of the Gray looming out of the darkness, barely illuminated by the last sparks of the ice flare that were still falling from the sky, and she had to fight the urge to just bolt towards him. Instead, she focused on keeping pace with the others, focusing on guiding them across the rocks as the walk had taken a lot out of all of them, especially Sho who was visibly struggling to stay on his feet now.

“Gray! What did you fin…?” She called as soon as she was close enough to see him more clearly, her voice trailing off as her gaze landed on the scarily, still form sprawled beside him, and her heart plummeted, breath catching as she realised who it was. “Natsu!” She charged forwards, all thoughts about helping the others disappearing as her focus narrowed down to her best friend, eyes stinging even before she reached him. A horrified gasp slipping out as she dropped to the sand beside her teammates, tears beginning to fall as she got a good look at the damage covering his body. _Gods Natsu, what the hell happened to you?_

“He’s still with us,” Gray was quick to reassure her, answering the unasked question that he could see in her eyes as she reached out towards the Dragon-slayer, clearly afraid to touch him in case she made things worse. Both of them heard and understood the unspoken _‘for now’_ that hung in the air for a moment between them, and as Lucy got a closer look at Natsu’s wounds, she realised just how accurate those silent words might be. She had seen Natsu hurt before, but never this seriously, and it terrified her to see him laid out like this…and alone, and she swallowed before glancing at Gray. “You didn’t find any sign of Erza?”

“No, you?”

“No,” she tilted her head towards Erza’s friends who were hovering awkwardly a short distance away, Sho resting on the ground between them, all three clearly afraid to intrude on the personal moment. “They’d seen Juvia though. She was with them before going off to search the water, but there was no sign of Erza.” He voice caught and wavered on that last bit because she knew that the longer they went without any news about Erza, the less likely it was that the news was going to be good. _Erza, where are you?_

“I’m sure that she’ll be fine,” Gray said, but there was no conviction in his voice as he spoke and they both knew, and she followed his gaze as it lingered on the injured Dragon-slayer. She knew exactly what he was thinking – if Natsu was in this state, then what condition was Erza going to be in? They both knew that no matter how hot-headed and idiotic the Fire Mage could be at times, he would have done everything in his power to protect Erza, regardless of what she might have wanted, and it was growing harder and harder to ignore their fear about what had happened to her.

_Erza, you have to be okay…_

**

“Gray! Lucy!” The tense silence that had fallen over the group was broken by the loud cry, and both Gray and Lucy moved to protect Natsu, ice dancing around the former’s hands, while Lucy had her hand on her keys even as she scanned the sky. However, it was Gray who spotted Juvia running up the sand towards them, waving one-handed, while the other arm cradled Happy protectively against her, relaxing at the sight, although he shared a disappointed glance with Lucy as they realised that there was still no sign of Erza. There was a momentary relief at having more of their group back together again, although it fizzled out as the pair drew closer, granting them a clear view of Juvia’s drawn expression, and the tears that were glistening in Happy’s eyes.

“What is it?” Gray demanded as soon as they reached them, not even giving them a chance to catch their breath, the fear shifting towards terror as he watched them exchange anguished looks before Happy turned to them.

“I-It’s…” His voice cracked and broke before he took a shuddering breath and tried again. “We found her…we found Erza.” There was none of the jubilation that they might have expected at those words, the pain his voice telling them that it was bad news. Happy struggled to continue, trying to find the words to convey what they had found, but his voice was refusing to cooperate, the words dying on the tip of his tongue as he tried to block out the haunting image of Erza floating trapped in the lacrima.

    He glanced around, trying to find something that would help in rein in his rising emotions, only for his gaze to finally fall on the still figure lying between Gray and Lucy, and he froze, eyes widening in horror as he glimpsed familiar pink hair. _Natsu._ With a noise that was somewhere between a cry, and a whimper Happy moved, shooting forwards, with fresh tears already joining the ones drying on his cheeks as he darted between the two mages to reach his partner. “Natsu?” He pleaded as he reached the Dragon-slayer, laying trembling paws on his partner’s arm as he desperately searched the too pale features for some sort of reaction. “Natsu…” He whispered, voice cracking and breaking, and it was heartbreaking for the others to hear, and yet they had nothing to comfort him with as he buried his head against Natsu’s chest with a loud sob.

“Juvia, what happened? What did you find?” Gray demanded as he turned back to the Water Mage, as it was clear that Happy had been completely derailed by Natsu’s condition, unable to find it in himself to force the cat away from his partner despite his desperation to find out about Erza.

“Erza-san…” Juvia began hesitantly, colour returning to her face as she realised that everyone’s attention had immediately switched to her, and she looked down as she realised just how intense Gray’s gaze was. “We found her trapped in a lacrima just beyond where the tower was,” she explained in a rush, not wanting to draw it out, her hands twisting into the material of her dress as she saw the pain that flashed over their faces. Gray froze, slowly turning to look at Natsu, his gaze drawn to the bloody hands, the injuries suddenly taking on a darker meaning as he immediately imagined Natsu desperately trying to reach Erza. He knew that the Dragon-slayer would have tried to tear the lacrima apart to get to her and that he probably hadn’t even been aware of the fact that he was injuring himself in the process.

_Natsu…_

“Why didn’t you free her?!” Sho finally spoke up, reminding them that they weren’t alone, drawing Gray’s attention just in time to watch Juvia flinching as the blond staggered back to his feet, levelling a heated glare at her.

“Juvia tried…” Juvia countered softly before Gray had a chance to intervene, flinching back from the anger on display, and she was relieved when Millianna and Wally stepped forward to contain Sho, gently pulling him back, although their faces were twisted with grief as the weight of what she was saying started to register. “My magic couldn’t penetrate the lacrima, and it disturbed the Etherion inside, and I didn’t want to risk causing Erza-san more harm.” Slowly she held up her hand, letting them all see the burn marring the pale skin – the mark angry and irritated, and she winced as she flexed her fingers. “It didn’t like my magic.”

    Gray had wanted to deny her words, but there was no arguing with the evidence in front of his eyes, although he had already known that she was telling the truth. _Erza._ He took a deep breath, stepping forward to gently grasp the burned appendage, ignoring the way her face flushed bright red as he allowed his magic to seep over the skin, cooling and soothing the burn. “Was she…is she alive?” He forced himself to ask once Juvia had relaxed a little, unable to keep his voice level, terrified of what her answer might be, but needing to hear it all the same.

“We couldn’t tell.” It was Happy who replied, voice unsteady as he finally looked up from his partner, blinking back tears as he added quietly. “But she didn’t respond the disturbance that Juvia caused.”

“No!” Lucy cried, dropping back to her knees as she began to weep, barely aware of the shaking hand that Gray laid on her shoulder. Trying to comfort her even as he staggered, struggling to keep his feet, and feeling as though something in his heart was trying to tear itself in half. “Gray…Erza, she can’t…she can’t be…” She couldn’t even bear to put the thought into words, especially as she heard the others voicing their own denials, tears in their voice, unable to offer them any comfort as the weight of her own grief was already too much to bear.

*

    Gray was only coping marginally better, and that was purely because the cold, rational part of him had realised that the couldn’t afford to have them all fall apart at once. Not least because Natsu was still in dire need of medical attention, something that couldn’t be ignored even in the face of this news, and the crippling grief trying to weigh them down, and he took a deep breath as he realised that he had to be the strong one for the time being. He glanced down at Natsu, wishing that the Dragon-slayer was at least conscious because he was so much better at offering comfort and finding hope in even the worst situations than he was. Although, somehow, he doubted that even Natsu would be able to be positive in the current situation, which did nothing to improve his mood. _How am I supposed to fix this Flamebrain? What am I supposed to do?_

   No answers were forthcoming, and he shook his head, knowing that he was the only capable of making that decision right now, and he turned towards the others, his mind racing. He knew that this was more than they could handle on their own right now, which meant that they needed to get word back to Fairy Tail as soon as possible. However, he knew that there was no way he could ask his own guildmates right now because there was no way either of them would agree to go given Natsu’s condition and the fact that Erza was here. Erza’s childhood friends were in a state of shock, and a quick glance was enough to tell him that the blond one’s injuries were more than superficial, which left Juvia as the only real option that he had. However, he was somewhat hesitant to ask, and not because he didn’t trust her, as in his mind she had more than proved herself with what she had already done for them. No, his hesitation came from the fact that he wasn’t sure how the rest of the guild would react to a former Phantom Lord member showing up at their door.

“Juvia? Would you be willing to take a message to Fairy Tail for us?” He asked finally when she turned to look at him, realising that he had to ask, and let her decide. She looked more startled than anything at the request, and he sighed, rubbing a hand across his face before glancing back at Natsu. “Natsu needs proper treatment and soon, and I don’t think he’s in any state for a long journey right now. But our Master needs to know what’s happened here, and maybe he will know how to help Erza as well.” _Please…_ He wasn’t sure what any of them were going to do if Makarov didn’t have the answers, or if there wasn’t anything that could be done to help, and he found himself blinking against the sudden burning sensation in his eyes.

“I’ll tell him,” Juvia agreed softly, seeing the pain and anguish in his face, and silently marvelling at the strength he was showing as his friends went to pieces around him. She had barely known Erza, and yet the sight of the other woman trapped within the lacrima had brought her to tears, and yet Gray had yet to break, standing strong for the sake of the people around him. Part of her wanted to refuse and to stay by his side to try and offer comfort, but she knew that honouring his request and bringing them help, was what was needed here. “Please, be careful…” She added, unsure of whether there was still danger lingering in the area, and she waited until she got a nod of acknowledgement before taking off.

    She didn’t look back, although she wanted to. Determined to prove to Gray and the rest of his guild that she was worthy of their trust, and praying that she could help, because fighting alongside them in the tower and witnessing and sharing their pain as the tower had erupted had only cemented her desire to join Fairy Tail. To join the one guild that she believed could give her everything that had been missing from her time with Phantom Lord – trust, friendship, and maybe one day love.

**

“We need to get Natsu back to the resort and find a healer,” Gray said once Juvia had passed out of sight, turning back to face Lucy who was still sobbing, although her attention had shifted back to the Dragon-slayer. At his words she sniffled before brushing at her cheeks, trying to wipe the tears away even as she staggered back to her feet, attempting a determined expression that was ruined by the way her lips quivered as she nodded in agreement. “We’ll need to carry him between us, as I don’t want to risk making his injuries worse,” he instructed as he crouched down, placing his hands down on either side of Natsu’s head. Happy immediately moving to one side as he realised what the Ice Mage was doing. “Ice Make: Stretched,” he murmured under his breath, brow creased with focus as his ice slowly spread out from his fingers to form a stretcher beneath the injured mage.

“Gray, won’t he melt your ice?” Happy asked.

“He’s cold to the touch Happy,” Gray replied, voice soft, although he winced as his words were greeted with horrified gasps from his own guildmates who realised the implication of those words, swallowing as their reactions cut through his own denial. “He’s used up all his magic, and it’ll take a while for it to even begin to replenish given his current condition, so the ice should hold until we get him back.”

    _Natsu shouldn’t be cold,_ the thought was at the forefront of Lucy’s mind as she moved to stand by Natsu’s feet, before bending down to take hold of the stretcher, biting back a hiss as the cold ice burned as it pressed against her skin. However, the pain was good for one thing, in that it helped to bring her out of the haze of grief that she had been slipping into, and sniffling she nodded to Gray to show that she was ready. With extreme care they lifted their friend, waiting with bated breath to see if he would react as it was unavoidable that the movement would have jostled his wounds, both struggling to hide their disappointment when there was no response.

“Let’s go,” Gray ordered, once he had managed to find his voice amongst the disappointment that had welled up at Natsu’s lack of response. None of them wanted to move, highly aware of what they were leaving away, and hoping that Juvia and Happy were right and that Erza would still be there, untouched when help arrived. And the group were silent as they began to make their way back over the rocks and up onto the beach again, the other three trailing helplessly behind them, caught up in their own grief. Meanwhile Happy had managed to rest just enough to be able to drag up the magic needed to fly again, keeping watch as he led the way.

****

    Gray had managed to hold himself together all the way back to the resort, focusing on getting Natsu back to the hotel, and then finding a healer that was capable of dealing with magic-induced injuries. He’d even managed to stay in the room, while the woman did what she could to help the Dragon-slayer, although by her own admission this wasn’t her specialism. Which wasn’t helped by the fact that under the bright hotel lights, Natsu’s injuries had been thrown into sharp relief, leaving Gray no avenue of denial, and he shuddered as he studied them, unable to stop himself from trying to imagine what had happened in the Tower. He’d tried to block out the healer’s warnings that Natsu wasn’t out of danger just yet, because he couldn’t even entertain the idea of losing the Fire Mage, knowing that he would lose all ability to function if he did.

      Finally, the healer was finished leaving behind a heavily bandaged Natsu, and stern instructions that the Dragon-slayer was not to be left alone for the next few days, which was the critical period that would determine whether he would pull through this or not. And Gray could feel himself beginning to shatter as he stared at the bed where Lucy was sat cradling Natsu’s hand against her chest, tears trickling down her face, feeling the cracks spreading as he stared at Natsu’s pale face.

“Lucy, can you stay with him?” He asked, feeling somewhat numb at this stage, aware that his voice was beginning to crack as the control he’d been clinging to continued to splinter, and he knew that he wasn’t going to be able to hold it together much longer.

“Of course,” Lucy replied instantly, and there was an understanding expression on her tear-streaked face as she took in the way he was trembling and the moisture swimming in his eyes. In all honesty, she had expected him to crack before now but looking at him now she realised that he didn’t want to do it in front of her or Natsu, even if the Dragon-slayer was currently oblivious to everything happening around him. “Go,” she added when she saw him hesitating when he glanced at Natsu, and with a jerky nod, he obeyed, practically stumbling from the room in his rush to escape.

    Thankfully he didn’t encounter anyone as made it down the corridor to his room, and slipping inside he quickly locked the door behind him, unable to bear the thought of anyone bursting on him at the moment. In a daze he shed the remainder of his clothes and headed for the shower, turning the water to its hottest settings, needing the heat to ground him in reality and to wash away the stain of today. The stain of his failure, although he knew that it would take a lot more than a single shower to remove that kind of mark from his soul.

“Erza,” he whispered as he stepped under the cascading water and the sound of her name broke the dam that had been holding back his emotions, and a sob forced itself free as tears began to course freely down his cheeks. A low wail rising in his throat, as for the first time he allowed himself to acknowledge the fact that they had lost Erza. He didn’t know if it was permanent, but just the fact that they didn’t know, and that she was trapped out of reach in a lacrima was enough to shatter him at the moment, and the strength drained out of him, and he slumped into the bottom of the shower as he began to sob in earnest. _Why? After everything she’s been through, why did she have to be the one we lost? Why hadn’t Natsu…?_

   His head shot up as that thought dissolved as suddenly as it had formed, and guilt pooled in his stomach for even contemplating the idea of blaming Natsu for what had happened. The fact that the Dragon-slayer was laid down the corridor fighting for his own life covered in wounds that Gray knew could’ve killed a lesser mage, plus the spectacular rampage they had witnessed earlier was more than enough proof that he had given his all to try and save Erza. He couldn’t even begin to imagine what state the Fire Mage was going to be in when he woke up, he refused to think about the alternative, and they also had no way of knowing if he was already aware of what happened to Erza, or whether it would fall to them to tell him.

“Damn it Erza. How do we save you? And what are we supposed to do without you?” He asked brokenly as he slowly buried his head in his knees, trying to escape from everything if only for a little while.

**

    It was sometime later that he emerged from the bathroom, his emotions back in check for now although they were still close to the surface, and he knew that there was still a lot more to come that would test that control. And as much as he would like some more time to, himself, he knew that Lucy must be just as keen for a shower as he had been and that she also probably needed a break from everything that was happening, if she could even bring herself to leave Natsu’s side. With that in mind, he turned his feet towards Natsu’s room.

    Although he found himself hesitating at the door, terrified of opening the door in case he found that the Dragon-slayer had taken a turn for the worse during his brief absence. Eventually, though he forced himself to turn the handle and push the door open, knowing that if anything had happened good or bad that Lucy would have sent for him.

“Gray,” Lucy’s head had shot up as he stepped inside and he noted that her hand had dropped instinctively down to her whip, immediately raising his hands to show that he wasn’t a threat. “Are you feeling better?” She asked as she slowly removed her hand from the whip, wincing at the question but he knew that she hadn’t meant anything by it and he merely nodded in response.

“You should go and get a shower too, as I have a feeling we’re in for a long night,” he said gently, unsurprised when she hesitated looking reluctantly at the Dragon-Slayer, and he realised that she had been sat holding his hand when he entered. “You won’t do him any good neglecting yourself,” he added, and her gaze flickered back to him, her reluctance gradually fading away to resignation as she got to her feet. For a brief second, she hesitated before leaning over to press a gentle kiss against Natsu’s forehead before pulling away and heading for the door.

“Look after him,” she said softly before slipping out of the door without waiting for a response, knowing that the request was unnecessary but feeling better for it all the same. Sighing, Gray waited until the door had clicked shut behind her before finally moving across to claim a seat next to the bed, missing the heat that would usually be suffusing the air around the Dragon-slayer.

“You have to come back to us Natsu because we can’t survive losing you too,” he muttered to his onetime rival before he found himself reaching out to grasp Natsu’s hand, trying not to flinch away as he felt the unnatural chill still tainting Natsu’s skin. It wasn’t right for the walking furnace to feel so cold, and for the first time, the Ice Mage found himself fearing the cold.

_Please…_

**

   Gray sighed as he stretched out his stiffening limbs for a moment before turning his attention back to Natsu, afraid to look away for more than a moment at a time in case he missed the slightest change in his friend’s condition. He had spent the last hour talking quietly to the unconscious mage, unsure of whether Natsu was able to hear him but unwilling to leave him lying in the shadows without a link back to them. He spoke of their childhood, of their various scraps and adventures, although his voice would always break when he ventured near the topic of their red-haired friend, not sure how he was ever going to broach that issue. _Please let there be a way for us to bring her back. Please…_

“Gray?” He turned at the quiet voice, forcing a smile that he knew appeared more like a grimace as he found Lucy peering around the door, her face pale as her eyes darted to the figure on the bed obviously looking for some sign of change.

“Come in,” he said softly seeing her continued hesitation, and with a silent nod, she slipped inside, hovering near the door for a moment before quietly moving across to stand at the end of the bed. Her eyes were searching as she stared down at Natsu with a lost expression on her face, and he sighed as he realised that she had never seen Natsu in this state before. “He’ll come back to us, he’s stronger than you know,” he murmured, but he wasn’t entirely sure who he was trying to comfort as his own gaze drifted back to Natsu. “Where are the others?” He asked after a moment, before turning his gaze back to her. Realising that he hadn’t seen or heard anything from Er…her friends since they returned to the hotel and feeling guilty for forgetting them, they might have fought against them to start with, but it was clear that they cared just as much for Erza as they did. He felt his chest tightening up again at her name even if it was only in his head and his eyes began to burn again, and he had to blink strongly to hold them back.

“They haven’t come out of their room, and I didn’t want to force them,” Lucy said softly, and he sighed before nodding in understanding, he couldn’t begin to imagine how they felt at the moment, and he didn’t trust himself to talk to them just yet. “Happy is asleep in my room. I think he cried himself into exhaustion,” she added with a worried frown. The little cat had been inconsolable between the discovery of Erza’s current situation and his partner's current condition, and she couldn’t help but wonder how he would survive if anything happened to Natsu. Although to be honest, she wasn’t sure how any of them would survive if anything happened to the Dragon-slayer.

_Natsu, you have to survive this._


	4. Chapter 4

 

     Lucy smothered a yawn, her shoulders slumped as she headed down the hallway towards Natsu’s room, reluctance in each step. It had been two days now since they’d found him on the beach. Two long days of waiting and watching, of terror and tension as Natsu hovered over an edge that they couldn’t protect him from, and it hurt to see him like that. As much as he drove her up the wall at times, she had become used to the chaos he left in his wake, missing the warmth of his presence more than she had ever thought possible, feeling as though he was miles away even though he was right here with them. _Natsu,_ she hesitated at the door, glancing back the way she had come, not that there was any comfort to be found there either, as she had just come from checking on Erza’s childhood friends who hadn’t ventured out of the redhead's room since they’d brought them back with them.

    She was worried about them too, mainly for Erza’s sake, although it was impossible not to care when she could see the devastation in their eyes. Their loss different from theirs but just as keen, and they were a mess. Yet, as much as she could understand their pain, she didn’t know how to help them, and as terrible as she felt about it, it was hard to focus on anything beyond what was happening with her own friends.

    Taking her deep breath and trying to bury the feeling that she was useless in this situation, and the weight of her loss, before she opened the door and slipped inside. There was a warmth in the air that had been missing the first couple of days, Natsu’s magic slow to return, and even now it was barely detectable, but at least it was a tiny sign of improvement, and right now she would take anything. Her gaze fell on the Dragon-slayer first, disappointed but unsurprised to find that he hadn’t moved since she’d last been here, still too still and pale in the bed, a shadow of his usual self. _Natsu, please…_ How many times had she pleaded with him to wake up, to come back to them over the last couple of days? She long since lost count, the words falling on deaf ears, and for a moment she was assailed by the urge to turn around and flee, to hide away until Natsu was awake and back with them.

   She ignored the urge, her expression softening a little as she turned to the others. Gray was in one of the chairs they’d commandeered, pressed up against the side of the bed, with his upper body draped awkwardly onto the bed itself. He was facing her, and even in sleep, he was pale and drawn, a frown furrowing his forehead as he clung to one of Natsu’s heavily bandaged hands, grip unwavering, as though it was the only way to keep the Fire mage anchored. On the other side of the bed, Happy was also out for the count, curled into a tiny ball against his partner, his face hidden from view where it was pressed into Natsu’s side, clinging to the Dragon-slayer’s clothes.

“Gray,” she called, moving to the Ice Mage’s side of the bed, keeping her voice low as she tried not to wake Happy, knowing that he’d had the least amount of sleep of all of them. That was all it took as Gray stirred at once, and a tight smile slipped onto her face as he scowled, fighting against the pull of consciousness for a moment before his eyes flickered open and he glanced up at her. It took a moment, sleep still clouding his mind, but then he was moving, jolting upright as his head swung towards Natsu in alarm, eyes frantically searching for any sign of change as he cursed.

“Damn I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” he growled after a moment, sheepish as he glanced at Lucy once he was sure that nothing dire had occurred during his impromptu nap. Lucy shook her head, patting him on the shoulder, before moving to circle around to the other side of the bed and dropping heavily into the other chair.

“It’s not your fault, you’ve barely slept,” she pointed out, hesitating before adding. “You should go and take a proper break.” She already knew that he wasn’t going to listen, even before he shook his head, unable to blame him for his reluctance. The last time he had taken her up on the offer for a break, he’d returned to chaos as Natsu had chosen that time to take a turn for the worst. His condition dipping so severely that if it hadn’t been for Happy pushing himself to the limit as he fetched the healer, they might have lost the Dragon-slayer.

*

   They had lapsed into silence after that, having used up most of their words over the last couple of days. It would have been a companionable silence, were it not for the thread of tension in the air, the wait, weighing on them, and showing in the way their eyes would skitter away when their gazes met over the Dragon-slayer. This wasn’t a battle that could be won with words or magic, and the waiting was agonising, as was the growing awareness of what they would have to face when the wait ended one way or another, something that they had all carefully avoided talking about.

   It was a while later that Gray shook himself out of his drifting, darkening thoughts, sighing as he settled back in the chair, expression warming a little as he glanced across at Lucy. Unsurprised to find that Lucy had mimicked his earlier actions and dozed off in her chair, slumped in an awkward position that had him wincing, knowing that she was going to feel it when she woke up, but unable to bring himself to disturb her rest knowing that she was just as exhausted as he was. Maybe more so, because she had barely rested either, and she had been busy dividing her time between Natsu and Erza’s friends, especially as he’d found himself unable to bring himself to deal with them, even though he realised his resentment towards them was more than unfair.

    Unfortunately, now that Lucy was sleeping, there was absolutely nothing to distract him from his thoughts and as he turned his attention back to Natsu. Gaze lingering on the slow rise and fall of the Dragon-slayer’s chest, the only sign that he was still with them, he found that he couldn’t stop his thoughts from drifting to their other absent friend. To Erza, even though he had frantically been trying to keep his thoughts away from her for the past few hours, and he swallowed, grip tightening on Natsu’s hand which was still trapped between his.

_Erza…_

    He had been supposed to be resting, but for better or for worse he had decided to use the break that Lucy had insisted he take to go and visit the lacrima. Terrified about what he was going to find but needing to see for himself what had been done to Erza, to silence the insidious whisper in the back of his mind that insisted he should be doing more, and to find the answers that he was dreading having to share with Natsu if…when the Fire mage woke up. He’d expected the worst, and yet he hadn’t been prepared, and as he stared blankly at Natsu’s still features he wished that he hadn’t given in to the temptation. Certain that the sight of Erza floating within the confines of the lacrima, so close and yet still so far from his reach, was going to haunt him for a long time.

_Erza…_

_Gray felt nauseous as he stared up at the lacrima that held Erza captive, expression darkening as he sought out her floating figure adrift amongst the ethereal blue. She looked peaceful, despite the evidence of the fights she’d endured that still marred her skin, preserved, just as she was by the container. There was a smile on her lips, as though she had known what her fate was and made her peace with it, and it made him want to scream and shout because she shouldn’t have been in this position. She shouldn’t have needed to make this choice._

_They should have protected her._

_No, he should’ve protected her, just as he’d promised._

_Yet here they were, Erza peaceful and serene, illuminated by the gentle glow of the confined magic, and he swallowed, raw and aching as he stared up at her with tears building in the corners of his eyes. Erza, I should have stopped this…he thought fiercely, ignoring the quiet voice that pointed out that there was nothing he could’ve done. That they’d all done everything they could to keep her safe, and that he knew without a doubt that Natsu would have done everything in his power to save her…and look where that had left him. Instead, he reached out with a trembling hand, only to stop just shy of the lacrima as he remembered what had happened to Juvia when she had touched the lacrima the day before._

_“Erza,” he whispered, eyes locked on the floating figure once more, so heartbreakingly close and yet so far, and despite Juvia’s injury and the lingering concern that they could do more harm if they shattered lacrima he had to try. Before he could hesitate or spend too long worrying about the possible consequences, he brought his hands together as he gathered his magic, still feeling the pull of exhaustion, but gathering as much strength as he could. Please let this work, he thought, almost desperately, not sure what any of them were going to do if it didn’t work. “Ice Make: Lance!” He roared, giving form to his magic and knowing that he couldn’t miss at this distance, pouring as much magic into the spell as he could, aiming for maximum impact._

_He closed his eyes instinctively before the ice struck the lacrima, not wanting to risk getting hit with any shards that splintered off, and it turned out to be a blessing as a blinding light filled the air. It was an unearthly blue, and bright enough that he could see it through his eyelids. Unfortunately, it also meant that he was caught by surprise when the Etherion within the lacrima reacted violently to his attack, and he found himself being flung violently backwards. Wild magic lashing around him, forcing a pained cry from his lips._

_“ERZA! He shouted, as he frantically fought to regain his balance, clinging to both sides of the boat he’d used to reach her as it rocked violently from the impact. He was wide-eyed as he watched the Etherion lashing angrily at the air for a moment longer, reaching out in all directions, and making the sea around him churn, even as the magic slowly subsided back within the lacrima. As soon as he knew the boat wasn’t going to capsize and plunge him into the water, he lurched forward, risking more harm as he pressed against the lacrima, desperately checking on Erza. Almost slumping in relief, as he found her floating, apparently unaffected by his actions, within the depths of the lacrima._

  _Erza, how are we supposed to bring you back from this?_

    Gray felt sick as he shifted in his seat, reaching up to scrub angrily as he felt the by now familiar burn of tears in his eyes. That visit had been bad enough, and the lingering image of Erza floating just beyond his reach ever worse, but it almost paled in comparison to when he had returned to the hotel it was to find Lucy and the healer fighting to save Natsu as his condition nose-dived. He was sure he wouldn’t be able to forget the sight of the Fire mage struggling to breathe while the healer frantically cast spells to try and stabilise him, while Lucy and Happy had looked on helplessly. Gray hadn’t been able to bring himself to enter the room, nearly collapsed against the doorframe, convinced that he was about to see another friend slip away from him.

   The healer had said that it was nothing more than a miracle that the Dragon-Slayer had survived when she’d stepped back exhausted and pale-faced from the near miss, and she had left them with the dire warning that if his condition deteriorated like that again, then it was unlikely that she would be able to help him. That news had immediately destroyed the relief they’d felt at seeing Natsu resting safely and peacefully once more, which was why they were both resisting the need to rest, barely daring to venture from his side even when they knew the other was there, determined that he wasn’t going to get the opportunity to slip away from them.

_Damn it Natsu, we can’t lose you too…_

****

   It had been another long, seemingly endless night, and as the room was slowly filled with sunlight Gray yawned widely, making no effort to smother it, even as he shifted in his seat, cursing the uncomfortable piece of furniture yet again as his back protested its mistreatment. Grimly he vowed that when they left to go home, he was going to destroy the chair even if it did mean paying for damages. Only to glance in surprise as he heard a small chuckle only to find that his movements had roused Lucy, who was now watching him with wry amusement, and he flushed slightly as he realised, he’d spoken his thoughts aloud.

“I might join you in that,” Lucy grumbled as she stretched out her own stiff body, scowling as tried to work out kinks her unfortunate sleeping position had caused. As soon as she had finished stretching, still stiff and sore, but more awake, her gaze immediately drifted to Natsu, her expression falling at finding him still unconscious although logically she knew that Gray would have woken her if he had woken during the night. “Any change?” She couldn’t resist asking, praying for even the slightest development at this stage.

“No,” Gray replied, voice soft but grim, hating the way her expression fell further but unwilling to give her false hope as he turned his own gaze to the Dragon-Slayer. Apart from the incident when he was away, Natsu had survived what the healer had highlighted as the critical period, but even that knowledge could do little against the fear growing in them every moment that passed without the slightest sign of change. Both of them glancing sadly at Happy who was still sleeping, a frown still present on his face as he clung to Natsu as though the Dragon-slayer might slip away if he didn’t hold on to him. The cat had refused to shift from the bed since Natsu’s near miss, not that they could blame him, and neither of them had even attempted to get him to take a break.

“What are we…” Lucy trailed off as there was a soft knock at the door. Both of them tensing for a moment before exchanging a wary look, as it was too early for the healer to be there to check on Natsu. And her eyes widened as she noticed Gray’s hands sliding into a battle-ready position, and she quickly followed his lead as her hand dropped down to her keys, nodding to show that she was ready.

“Come in,” Gray called, sounding deceptively calm, and they both watched as the door crept open, their eyes widening as the familiar figure of their Master stepped into the room, and both immediately abandoned their battle-ready stances with a mixture of guilt and relief.

“Gramps,” Gray breathed. They’d sent Juvia back to the guild for help, but he hadn’t expected anyone to arrive from the guild just yet, let alone for Makarov to just walk through their door. He opened his mouth, intending to say something more, but instead, he found himself falling silent, frozen in place as he saw the worried and grief-stricken expression on the old man’s face. They’d seen him like this before, years before when Mira and Elfman had returned without Lisanna, but there was something rawer in his expression this time, a brokenness that hurt to see.

“Gray…Lucy,” Makarov’s voice was soft as he gazed up at them, studying them for a moment, before finally allowing his gaze to fall on the still form on the bed between them, and there was no hiding the pain that flashed across his face as he stared at the Dragon-slayer. “Natsu,” he breathed before slowly moving towards the bed as he slowly took in the Dragon-Slayer’s condition, and Gray silently stepped aside to allow the old man to take over his position at Natsu’s side.

“He took a turn for the worse the other day, but since then there’s been no change in his condition,” Lucy was the one to break the silence as Makarov glanced at her with a question in his eyes, and he nodded, seeming to age a little in front of her eyes as he reached out to touch Natsu. Treating him as though he might shatter at any moment, as his hand brushed Natsu’s cheek, and she couldn’t blame him, seeing the moment his expression darkened as he felt how cool Natsu was, knowing that he would realise what that meant.

“What has the Healer said about his condition?” Makarov asked.

“Magical exhaustion, burns from the exposure to the Etherion and numerous injuries from his battles within the tower,” Gray listed off bleakly, remembering his own reaction when the healer had listed of Natsu’s injuries to them. Although that conversation had been even worse, because she hadn’t been as sparing as he was with the details, and he was unsurprised when Makarov paled even at the shorter list, hesitating before adding softly. “And he’s damaged his lungs, we think by consuming Etherion…” Natsu had certainly devoured something he shouldn’t, and while Gray desperately hoped it was something else, he couldn’t shake the knowledge that Natsu would have risked anything and everything to keep fighting in that tower and keep Erza safe. _And even that wasn’t enough…_

    Makarov was nodding, unspeaking as he absorbed the words as his gaze shifted back to the Dragon-slayer, feeling a new pang of sorrow at seeing one of his favourite brats lying there in such a state. Juvia had tried her best to explain what had happened and to warn him about to expect when she’d arrived at the guild, injured and shaken to bring them Gray’s message. However, somewhere along the trip here, he had managed to convince himself that it couldn’t be as terrible as she had made it out to be. Now though he was being confronted with the harsh reality of what had happened, and it took more effort than he would ever admit to, to turn away from the Dragon-slayer and ask another question that he had been trying to put off.

“And Erza?”

    There was no hiding the pain in his voice as he asked the question, realising now that Juvia had probably been more sparing with the details of what he was going to find than he had initially thought, and he was relieved that he hadn’t told the rest of the guild what was happening before he’d left.

   Gray swallowed hard at the question, the image of Erza trapped in that thrice-damned lacrima filling his mind again, and he found himself taking an unconscious step backward as though trying to distance himself from the image. He tried to find the words to explain what had happened, or at least what he knew, but couldn’t force them past the lump that rose in his throat and he turned to look at Lucy who looked like a rabbit caught in the headlights for a moment, before she nodded and took a deep breath.

“From what Juvia and Happy told us,” she paused to glance across at the still sleeping Exceed, but she was reluctant to wake him, especially as she knew just as much as he did, which wasn’t much. “The Tower of Heaven has been reduced to a single, very large lacrima that is filled with the remnants of the Etherion that didn’t shoot up into the sky. Erza is trapped in the middle of that lacrima…and… we even know if she…” Her voice trembled and broke at the end, and she couldn’t bring herself to finish the words as she exchanged a pained look Gray, once again thankful she hadn’t gone to visit the red-head as she saw the haunted expression on his face.

“You’ve tried to free her?” Makarov answered, following her gaze and seeing the pain in dark eyes as Gray nodded mutely, the grim expression on his face telling the older man how unsuccessful the effort had been. Not that he had expected anything different after Juvia had shown him the burn on her arm, and with what he already knew about Etherion.

“I tried, but my ice didn’t even leave a scratch on the lacrima, and the Etherion lashed out in response,” Gray muttered finally, knowing that their Master would need all their information if he were going to stand a chance of doing something for Erza’s predicament. Resolutely ignoring the small part of him, that knew even Makarov might not be able to fix this. “As far as I can tell it didn’t affect her, but…” _What if I did hurt her?_ It was a thought that had plagued him ever since he’d returned to the hotel, and it rose with full force now as he raised his head to meet Makarov’s gaze.

“But you can’t be sure,” Makarov concluded with a sigh, his brow furrowing in thought as he considered their situation. On the way to the resort, he’d contacted those he trusted and who he knew could be discreet both within the council and the other guilds to see if they had ever heard of a similar situation. However, so far none of them had been able to come up with anything even remotely similar, and while they were continuing the search, he had little confidence that they would be able to find anything.

“Master…”

“Don’t worry there is still hope,” Makarov said seeing the open fear on Lucy’s face, and the terror that Gray was barely holding at bay beneath his mask and his expression tightened. His gaze shifted back to the bed, and he scowled, the situation needed to be resolved as soon as possible before his children were hurt anymore. And just like Gray, he refused to allow the insidious whisper at the back of his mind that said that it might be too late for him to help Erza take hold, knowing that if he let that thought in now, then he would be useless. With a firm nod of his head, he stepped back and straightened, unsurprised when they followed him with their eyes, suddenly tense.

“Gramps?” Gray asked slowly, more than a little worried by the grim expression on the old man’s face and the faint stirrings of his magic that could be felt in the air around them. They rarely got to see the full extent of Makarov’s magic, but they could feel it now threatening to burst out, and it took everything they had to stay where they were. Even Happy wasn’t unaffected, stirring with a sleepy noise of protest although he didn’t rouse completely.

“I’m going out to her,” Makarov said gently, holding up a hand as Gray immediately opened his mouth and the Ice Mage froze. “I want you to both stay with Natsu,” he added, knowing that Gray had been about to offer to go with him although it was obvious, he was still shaken from his last view of Erza and he was unwilling to add to that burden.

“But…” Gray began to protest before trailing off, looking down with clenched hands, guilt clawing at him because, in all honesty, he had no desire to see Erza trapped in that lacrima again. Yet it didn’t feel right just staying behind while Makarov tried to free her.

“Gray it’s all right,” the Ice mage looked up at the soft tone and seeing the understanding in Makarov’s eyes he finally nodded with a mixture of defeat and relief. “Look after him,” Makarov added with a last lingering look at the Dragon-slayer, Natsu’s unnatural stillness unnerving him more than he would ever admit out loud especially with Lucy and Gray’s watching his every move with anxious eyes. Shooting them what he hoped but doubted was a comforting look he turned and left the room, closing the door firmly behind him as he tried to gather his courage for what he was about to see.

****

   Gray paced anxiously in front of the door, his brow furrowed in concern as his gaze alternated between the unmoving form of the Dragon-Slayer on the bed, the clock on the wall and the door. It had been several hours since Makarov had left to go and visit Erza and to see if there was anything that he could do to free her, and the Ice Mage was getting more and antsier the longer the old man was gone. It didn’t help that he was torn between hope that the old man would be able to find a way to help Erza, and terror that he would return only to say that there was nothing that could be done.

That it was too late…

“Do you want to go and look for him?” Lucy asked softly, tired of watching him pace from her seat next to the Dragon-slayer, and Happy glanced anxiously between them before snuggling back next to Natsu not wanting to get involved in the discussion. Gray paused in his pacing at her question, and she could see the conflict flickering across his face before he shook his head with a resigned sigh, eyes flickering towards Natsu.

“No, I don’t want to leave him,” he said quietly. Still, terrified that if he left again something else might happen to the Dragon-Slayer if he dared to step out of the room. Lucy opened her mouth to reply, unsure of what she could say to ease his worries when she was just as worried as he was, just as the door behind him swung open to reveal an exhausted-looking Makarov. “Gramps?!” Gray cried as he swung to look at Makarov, his expression falling as he took in the state of their Master and the disheartened expression he was sporting.

“Master come and sit down,” Lucy ordered in a concerned voice, shooting a quelling look at Gray as he opened his mouth no doubt to demand answers. With a weary sigh, Makarov obeyed, his expression darkening further as he looked searchingly at Natsu for a lingering moment as he settled into the offered seat. The visible lack of change another blow to his heart and he couldn’t resist reaching out to take hold of one of the Fire Mage’s hands, shivering at the absence of the burning heat that he’d always associated with the Dragon-slayer.

“Gramps?” Gray asked more softly this time as he drew closer to the bed, his expression a mix of fear and desperation, needing to know what was happening but afraid of what Makarov might be about to tell them. Makarov sighed as he glanced between them, easily reading the emotions in their eyes and pondering what to say to them.

“My magic couldn’t break through the Etherion either,” he admitted, and their expressions fell at once, and Gray dropped numbly to the floor, his hands clenching into fists as he felt the hope that had been sustaining him being slowly destroyed. If one of the Ten Wizard Saints couldn’t break Erza out of the lacrima then what else could they do? “Some researchers from the council have arrived as well,” Makarov continued, and Gray raised his eyes, a dark scowl forming on his face at the mention of the council.

“It took them all this time to get here when it was their fault in the first place?!” He spat angrily. If they had never fired the Etherion, then Jellal would never have come so close to achieving his goal, and none of this would have happened to Natsu and Erza. He had never been fond of the council, especially with their tendency for taking matters out on their guild, but he knew he would never be able to respect them again after this.

“Can’t they do anything?” Lucy asked desperately, she was angry with the council as well and she could understand the fury burning in Gray’s eyes as he glanced towards her at her words, but if they could help Erza, then she would be more than willing to accept their help.

“The council are looking into it, but...” Makarov trailed off, unable to bring himself to crush the last remnants of hope that he could see his children clinging to. Realistically he knew that it was better to tell them the truth now so that they could come to terms with it, but they had already been through so much and with the uncertainty about Natsu’s condition…

“They don’t think it can be done, do they?” Lucy asked in a small voice, and he winced as he saw her exchange a grim knowing look with Gray and he realised that they must’ve discussed it during the long hours of watching over the Dragon-Slayer.

“They said it is unlikely that there is anything they will be able to do,” he admitted with a sigh, realising that he had underestimated their awareness of the situation, although as he expected pain flashed across their faces at his words. On the bed, Happy let out a choked sob before pressing his face back against Natsu’s chest, and Makarov felt his heart break further at that sight as he forced himself to continue. “Not only are they unsure if there is a mage powerful enough to break through the lacrima, but they believe that if the outer shell is breached the Etherion trapped within will explode and obliterate both Erza and any trying to rescue her.”

“So, they’re not going to do anything?” Gray demanded with a growl in his voice, unable to bear the thought of giving up on Erza, even as a calmer more realistic part of himself acknowledged the validity of that choice. Unfortunately, where Erza was concerned…or rather where any of his friends were concerned that more rational part was often forced to take a back seat and there was a fire in his eyes as he glared at their Master.

“No,” Makarov denied immediately, seeing the glint of rebellion in the dark eyes and wanting to head off any explosions before they could happen. “They’re going to research it, see if there is anything in the archives about similar situations…” Although he had been around a long time and had witnessed a lot of things and he doubted very much that a situation such as this had ever happened before, however, he hoped that their lesser experience would leave his children with a least a glimmer of hope that something could be found.

“In other words, they’re just going through the motions,” Lucy said bitterly, and both Gray and Makarov looked at her in surprise, neither having expected to have heard such a tone from her and it immediately quashed Makarov’s thought that he could give them some hope to hold on to.

“They won’t be alone in their search,” he promised instead, realising that they would have more faith in that promise than in any words from the council that had made it obvious on more than one occasion that the wellbeing of Fairy Tail was not their primary concern. Their expressions had softened slightly at his words and realising that it was the best he was going to get for the time being he quietly excused himself to go in search of the healer.

*

“Gray,” Lucy said softly a short while after their Master had left, and the Ice Mage looked up at once and winced as he saw the unshed tears swimming in her eyes and before she spoke, he already knew what she was going to say. “What…What do we do if we can’t bring her back?” Her voice trembled as she voiced the question that had been hovering over them since the moment, they had heard what had happened to Erza.

“I don’t know,” he admitted after a long moment. He hadn’t allowed himself to even consider the possibility until now, needing that glimmer of hope to hold himself together. Yet now, looking at Lucy’s tearful face and with their Master’s words ringing in his ears, he had to face up to the fact that it might be more than a possibility. “I don’t know,” he repeated helplessly, feeling his eyes beginning to burn again as the image of Erza and her prison filled his mind again, turning away, as he shook his head, reaching up to cover his eyes.

****

 “I’ve spoken to the healer, and she says that it should be possible to take Natsu home tomorrow,” Makarov said quietly as he slipped back into the room later that evening, unsurprised to find that neither Lucy nor Gray had shifted since he’d left them. The only change was that Happy had finally fallen asleep again, although he remained curled up against Natsu with one paw stretched out to lie over Natsu’s chest as though to check he was still living even in sleep.

“But what if he takes a turn for the worse?” Gray demanded anxiously as he glanced at Natsu, the thought of Natsu stopping breathing while they were travelling making him panic. “None of us has healing magic!”

“I know,” Makarov reassured him. “However, she is as confident as she can be that he can make the journey safely, and she is going to provide everything we need in case of an emergency. I’ve also sent a message ahead for the guild to send for Porlyusica so that she will be waiting for us when we arrive.” Gray relaxed slightly at that news, knowing just how talented the snarky woman was at healing mages especially from magic related problems and knew about the differences in Dragon-slayer magic.

“So, we’re just going to leave Erza?” Lucy asked softly and without heat turning the conversation back to Erza now she was reassured that Natsu would be at least safe to travel, turning to look at their Master with dulled eyes and he winced at seeing the Celestial mage so downtrodden and wishing that there was some simple way to bring the sparkle back to her eyes.

   Gray opened his mouth but then froze as he realised that was precisely what their Master was suggesting by saying they could take Natsu home. However, his protests died as he saw the conflict on Makarov’s face, and he scowled darkly as he stared at the ground. The thought of leaving Erza behind broke his heart, but they had already proven that neither his nor Gramps magic was capable of freeing her so there was little they could do here, and all the materials they needed for research were back at the guild.

“There is little that we can do here,” Makarov replied heavily echoing Gray’s thoughts, hating to admit how helpless he was in this situation but knowing that there was little for them to achieve by remaining in the resort. Still, it left a sour taste in his mouth to even begin contemplating leaving behind one of his children, but as his gaze drifted to Natsu, he knew it was a decision they had to make, and deep down he knew that Erza would approve. Lucy’s expression fell as she realised that he was right, but the thought of leaving Erza broke her heart, and she glanced helplessly between Makarov and her unconscious best friend. Feeling torn as she stared at Natsu, because could she really leave the red-head behind? Even if it was for Natsu’s sake?

“Natsu might recover better at home,” Gray offered quietly as he saw the pain in Makarov’s expression and knowing that arguing against leaving would only cause more distress and tension. He wasn’t convinced that going home would help Natsu, especially as they still had no idea whether Natsu had even witnessed what happened to Erza before passing out. If he had, then he doubted it would matter where they were, and if he hadn’t…it might be safer to break the news to him a safe distance from the lacrima. “What about Sho and the others?” He asked forcing himself to change the topic before he became lost in that train of thought.

“I spoke with them earlier, and I said they were welcome to come to Fairy Tail with us,” Makarov replied with a sigh, he didn’t know the three youngsters, but it had been impossible to miss the grief and guilt in their expressions as they listened silently to what he had to say about the council and Erza. “But they have decided that they need to try and find their own way in the world,” he wasn’t entirely happy with the decision, worried about what they might do in their current emotional state and also aware of the fact that Erza would want him to care for them. But they had been resolute in their decision, and after what they had lived through for the past eight years, he had no right to stand in the way of whatever freedom they chose to pursue.

“I see,” Gray said softly glancing down, he felt slightly guilty for not having been to see them, but a small part of him was still feeling resentful. Why did they have the right to grieve when it was partly because of them that Erza and Natsu had ended up in that tower, to begin with. “Does the rest of the guild know what happened?” Lucy asked quietly as she tore her attention away from Natsu, somehow unable to muster up any real feelings about the news that Erza’s friends were parting ways with them, even though she had done her best to stretch a hand out to them.

“No,” Makarov shook his head, that was something else that he still had to face, and he knew that it was going to be a massive blow for his close-knit guild. Despite her harsh exterior Erza had been well loved and had been a central part of their mis-matched family, and the hole she was leaving behind would be difficult to heal…if it ever could. “Juvia asked to speak to me privately when she arrived, and I didn’t want to say anything until I had seen for myself.”

“They don’t know?” Lucy whispered, unable to imagine how bad their homecoming was going to be. Erza and Natsu were precious to everyone in the guild, and everyone had known the pair of them much longer than she had. She jumped violently when a cold hand grasped her shoulder, and she turned to find Gray stood beside her, his eyes understanding as he glanced down at her before reaching out to grasp her hand before pressing both of their hands against Natsu’s.

“Let’s take Natsu home.”


End file.
